The Famous Victim-Savior-Bully Pattern
by Sylvie Olivier
In the vibrational signal of the vast majority of people lies a pattern called “victim-savior-bully.”
Over the years, we have recognized that all three are present in each of us, with one aspect being more dominant depending on perceptions, experiences, and childhood memories.
For example, some people feel constantly “victimized” by situations related to their health, relationships, finances, work, or other experiences.
They naturally attract a savior to “help” them get out of their situation… and, by the same token, a bully to confirm their position as a victim.
Without victims, saviors and bullies would cease to exist.
The same is true for saviors. Saviors need to feel useful. They seek out situations where they can “intervene” on behalf of people they perceive as helpless, victims of circumstances, the government, illness, injustice, etc.
They often consider it their moral duty to help, to denounce manipulators, authority figures, or any form of power perceived as abusive.
But without a savior, victims and bullies would meet more quickly, and often the conflict would exhaust itself. The savior acts as an energy buffer—sometimes creating a delay in the natural release of the pattern.
The bully, on the other hand, values strength. They despise what they perceive as weakness, seek to dominate, and claim to respect only “those who stand tall.” They feed the illusion of power and control—while remaining caught in the same loop of inner imbalance.
And without a bully, the victim-savior game ceases to be justified.
EXERCISE – Return to the Self with Conscious Breathing
Here is a simple practice to assist you recenter yourself, reconnect with your inner self, and release this pattern without struggle or resistance.
The Breathing Technique in 4 Movements
We invite you to do this exercise while lying down.
- Take a deep breath through your nose, bringing your attention to your pelvis. Feel the support of the floor or mattress. Let your body settle completely
(4 seconds)
- Take a deep breath through your nose, bringing your attention to your pelvis. Feel the support of the floor or mattress. Let your body settle completely
(4 seconds)
- Exhale slowly through your mouth, releasing all burdens, tensions, and roles.
(4 seconds)
- Pause without air, in the void… without expectation.
Allow a space to emerge within you that is larger than your mechanisms.
(4 seconds)
Repeat 4 complete cycles with your eyes closed, allowing this intention to arise:
“I free myself from roles. I choose presence.”
Awareness Tips
Ask yourself the following question: “What role do I play most often?”
Not to judge yourself. Just to see and be aware.
Notice:
→ Do I wait for someone to come and save me?
→ Do I intervene without being asked?
→ Do I seek to control or dominate in order to feel secure?
Then ask yourself:
“And if I no longer needed this role, who would I be?”
You are neither a victim, nor a savior, nor a bully.
You are a whole and complete being, capable of feeling, welcoming, choosing… from within.
Conclusion… Another Way: The Way of the Heart
Instead of remaining trapped in this triangle of roles, it is possible to return to the Center.
The Heart does not need to control. It does not need to be saved. It does not allow itself to be dominated.
- The Heart sees clearly without judging.
- It feels without losing itself.
- It assists without fading away.
When you choose to live from the frequency of the Heart, the dynamics of the trio die out on their own.
Not through rejection.
Through non-resonance.
You are no longer caught up in the game.
You become the mirror of what is possible beyond this pattern.
And that is… where true freedom begins.
With Love,
